Pokemon Answering machines
by Shadow Star.EXE
Summary: Pokemon have answering machines. Now you get to find out what's on them! This chapter: The angry Azelf's machine! Warning: Randomness that you wouldn't believe and total OOCness. Features my friends, Regii and Ash! Enjoy the randomness!
1. Celebi

**This seems to be a new fad nowadays, and I had this idea...well, oblige the ideas!**

**Also, the reason I chose Celebi is because she's my favourite pokemon (yes, I think of Celebi as a girl. Shut up.)**

_Celebi's answering machine_

Hi, you've reached Celebi, the voice of the forest. My voice can't reach you right now, so leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you.

**(beep)**

Hi Celebi, it's Mew! Are we on for Friday night?

**(beep)**

Latias here. The entire NSider forum seems mad at me. I think I'll go cut myself...

**(beep)**

Manaphy here. JIRACHI KEEPS FORCING ME TO PLAY HOUSE! HELP!

**(beep)**

It's Blaziken! I just got my new manga! Come over and see!

**(beep)**

It's Jira! Where'd Manaphy go?!

**(beep)**

It's the Iron Mask Marauder! You'll be mine, Celebi! Just as soon as I escape from these sticky Weedle webs...

**(beep)**

Darkrai here. Have you finished your homework? If you have, let me copy it or I'll give you nightmares!

**(beep)**

Hey, it's Dusknoir! Where did you download CELE-B-R-A-T-E?

**(beep)**

It's Articuno. Have you seen my house keys?

**(beep)**

Blaziken again. Can you tell Articuno she left her house keys at my place?

**(beep)**

Gallade here. GARDEVOIR, YOU STOLE MY IPOD! Oh wait, this is Celebi? Oops.

**(beep)**

Miss Serebii, you are twenty years late paying your bills. Your electricity will be -fizz- MESSAGE DOES NOT EXIST.

**(beep)**

Giovonni here. I WANT YOUR POKEMON, ASH! ...Wait, wrong line. Damn secretary...

**(beep)**

It's Dialga. Celebi...I am your father.

**(beep)**

Deoxys...I, Palkia, am your father...wait, who is this? AUGH, WRONG NUMBER!

**(beep)**

It's Azelf! Did you see the music video for Misery Business yet?

**(beep)**

CELERY DOESN'T PWN. MEWTWO DOES! NOOBS!

**(beep)**

Pikachu here. Ash left me behind again. Can I hang at your place?

**(beep)**

It's Groudon. I need to know who would win in a fight: Me, Kyogre or Rayquaza.

**(beep)**

Hey best friend, it's CeleBaby! NSider closed down, so Latias and her best friend, Latiasgirl, have gone so emo! It's hilarious! I'll show you the pictures when you get home!

**(beep)**

Azelf again. Uxie and Mesprit locked me out of Lake Valor. I'm on my way over, since Arceus is being a big, fat, stinky meanie and won't let me stay with him.

**(beep)**

It's Ditto. If I can get it on with every other pokemon, why can't I get it on with you?!

**(beep)**

It's Cresselia. When do you want your mp3 player back?

**(beep)**

Celebi, you stole my DS Lite! Give it back, NAO! Oh, by the way, it's Garchomp calling.

**(beep)**

&&&&&&

The Latias bits were making fun of LATIASGIRL, a user of the NSider forums, which are now gone. She is a really stupid, idiotic person, who got all emo when people got mad at her. So now, I poke fun at her.

READ AND REVIEW!


	2. CeleBaby

**Regii gave me a good idea: I'll make this into a story for all pokemon's answering machines. (When I say "all", I mean "all of my favourite ones". Tough luck, cookie. You want an answering machine, make j00r own.)**

**However, I'm gonna get greedy and make MY answering machine! Credit goes to Regii and Ashley for the idea:)**

_CeleBaby's answering machine_

Hey, this is CeleBaby! I'm not in at the moment, so when you hear the beep, start talking!

**(beep)**

It's Dusknoir! WHERE THE HECK DID CELEBI DOWNLOAD THE FREAKING SONG CELE-B-R-A-T-E?!

**(beep)**

It's Arceus. Cam stole my toast. Tell him to make me some new toast or I'll pass "Judgement" on his ass.

**(beep)**

It's Mew. Is Celebi interested in me?

**(beep)**

CeleBaby, you have won ten tickets to see Resident Evil: Extinction. Please call back as soon as you get this message at LOL-1337.

**(beep)**

It's Azelf. Uxie stole my manga and gave it to Blaziken for five bucks. Can you believe it?!

**(beep)**

It's Ashley. Tell Cam's Munchlax to stop eating all the burgers here. It stinks enough without his gas. Plus Munchlax listens to you for some odd reason...

**(beep)**

It's Cam's Munchlax! I wanna see Pichu! Will she date me?!

**(beep)**

It's Pichu. Why do I get the odd feeling that someone has a crush on me?

**(beep)**

Gardevoir here. (sob) I feel so ruined, CeleBaby. I lost my virginity to Cam. (blows nose) -CLUNK-

**(beep)**

Garchomp calling. WHERE'S MY FREAKING DS LITE, CELEBI!? Oh wait, this is CeleBaby? Augh, stupid confusing names...

**(beep)**

Shadow Lugia calling. Everyone thinks I'm evil, but I just want a hug...(sniffle)

**(beep)**

CeleBaby, it's EP. Wanna go out...? (beep) MESSAGE EPICLY ERASED.

**(beep)**

CeleBaby, your DVD copy of Monty Python And Now For Something Completely Different has arrived. Please come to claim it. (A/N: I WISH!!)

**(beep)**

It's Celebi. Latiasgirl got owned by our account on NSider before it shut down. I HAVE THE SCREENSHOTS!

**(beep)**

Celebi again. Latias won't stop calling me. How do I use "block" on this thing?

**(beep)**

CeleBaby, it's Mom. PUT AWAY YOUR LAUNDRY OR NO ALLOWANCE!

**(beep)**

Cam here! Thanks for the advice on the whole Coconut thing! Come and hang out, Munchlax wants to see you and Pichu.

**(beep)**

Miss CeleBaby, you have five days to die...wait, I said it wrong, didn't I? DAMNIT, I SAID IT RIGHT FOR THAT CAM KID... -message erased, due to stupidity-

**(beep)**

Star, it's Ninja. The site of idiots finally died. (sounds of party in the background)

**(beep)**

Puyyyyyyyoooooo...wait, wrong number.

**(beep)**

Oi, Mewtwo, I want my Leichi berry back!

(picks up phone)

Rhyperior, it's CeleBaby. Mewtwo's number is 1-800-nubz0r, not 1-800-pwnsome. Got it? Now get the number right. -clunk-

(deletes messages and picks up car keys) Come on, Pichu, we're going to see Cam, Ash and Munchlax! Plus we got a party to go to, a DVD to pick up and movie tickets to claim. Oh yeah, and I gotta do my chores for Mom, or no allowance. HEY, PUT MY SISTER'S CELLPHONE AWAY, SHE'LL KILL YOU IF SHE SEES YOU USING IT!!

THE EPIC END!

**To understand the Gardevoir, Cam joke, read Regii's "Cams answering machine". The EP line was a guy at my school, who has a crush on me, but I don't like him. **

**Next is Gardevoir's Answering machine! Stay tuned!**


	3. Gardevoir

_**Gardevoir's answering machine**_

This is Gardevoir. I'm not in, so leave your name and number and I'll get back to you...maybe.

**(beep)**

Hey Gardy, you forgot to charge my iPod! Next time you borrow it, charge it, damnit!

**(beep)**

It's Cam. Friday night, it's you and me, baby...

**(beep)**

This is the sales department at Lilycove City. We're calling you to inform you that your ordered set of coloured thongs are in.

**(beep)**

It's Celebi. Gallade keeps calling and asking for his stupid iPod back. Will you freaking call him so I can get a damn moment of peace?!

**(beep)**

This is Latias. Make me a sandwich, or I'll cut myself.

**(beep)**

Hey Gardevoir, it's Celebi. Care to go shopping tomorrow?

**(beep)**

It's Blaziken! The new set of Murder Princess Manga came to Hoenn at last!

**(beep)**

Azelf here. If I find you steal my gem again, I'M GONNA SHADOW BALL YOUR ASS!! (clunk)

**(beep)**

It's Uxie. You'll have to forgive Azelf, she's gotta go to anger management, per Arceus' orders...

**(beep)**

Cresselia calling. Darkrai's threatening to blow up the world. How do I stop him?

**(beep)**

THIS IS SPARTA!!

**(beep)**

Azelf again. How do I tell someone I have a crush on him?

**(beep)**

PLEASE, I NEED TO KNOW!!

**(beep)**

GARDEVOIR, I STILL NEED ADVICE!! HOW DO I TELL DARKRAI I LOVE HIM?

**(beep)**

This is the phone company. Your bills are ten days late. Either pay up or we take your phone off the hook for good.

**(beep)**

Screw you, I'll just go up to him and tell him.

**(beep)**

Darkrai here. Why are there flowers and a card that says "Gardevoir told me to do this" on my island? I'M TRYING TO BLOW UP THE EARTH!

**(beep)**

CeleBaby here. I stopped Darkrai from blowing up the earth. Wanna know how I did it? I set him up on a blind date with Milotic.

**(beep)**

Ashley here. Why does Cam keep buying condoms?

**END OF MESSAGES**

DarkraixAzelf...I'm obsessed. Shut up. IT WILL WORK, I WILL MAKE IT WORK!

Next up: Milotic's answering machine.


	4. Milotic

Man, here come the list of excuses...

Seriously? Planning for college and doing a lot of english homework to ensure I get higher then 70 overall is hard.

But I hate to disappoint you people, so here is...MILOTIC!

_**Milotic's answering machine**_

This is Milotic, the beauty of the sea! I'm not present right now so leave your name and number and I might call you back...if you're hot enough.

**(beep)**

Ugh, you need a new greeting...(clunk)

**(beep)**

Sorry about that, it's Uxie. I'm just calling to say DON'T DATE DARKRAI!!

**(beep)**

Hey Milotic, it's CeleBaby. Want me to come over and help you get ready for your date?

**(beep)**

Was it you who left stupid flowers on my island?!

**(beep)**

It's Celebi! Azelf's at my place and she's mega depressed. Can you tell me why? She keeps saying it's your fault.

**(beep)**

A/S/L?

**(beep)**

It's Jirachi. Did you see that awesome video "That's what girls do - Pokemon Style" on Youtube?

**(beep)**

Milotic, you have an overdue DVD of Robot Chicken. Please return it, or we will hunt you down and claim your soul.

**(beep)**

Welcome to Blackmail! Are you interested in getting money off of someone, for the sake of a little secret?

**(beep)**

Arceus speaking. I won't go saying it out loud, Milotic, but...you know my little secret...you wouldn't use it against me, would you?

**(beep)**

_That's what girls do...they keep you guessing the whole day through...play your emotions, push all your buttons, it's true...that's what girls do!_

**(beep)**

Hey Latias, it's Jynx. I need a new theme song! That Pussycat Doll one is getting too boring! Call me back...(message erased)

**(beep)**

Hey biatch, it's Azelf. Are you happy you're going out with the guy I HAVE A CRUSH ON?!

**(beep)**

CeleBaby again. I MADE A MISTAKE, DON'T GO OUT WITH DARKRAI!! HE'LL HATE YOU IF YOU DO!

**(beep)**

I want my Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team back! Send it to Flygon, NAO!

**(beep)**

WATCH MY NEW AMV!!!111

**(beep)**

End of messages. To erase all messages, please dial 133-3337 at the tone.

**(beep)**

Oops, I forgot to dial.

&&&&&&&&&

R&R!!!!!!!!!111

EDITED NOTICE: Hi guys, it's CeleBaby. After reading that review from Just Another Flamer, I felt oh so disappointed...that someone with no life has the balls to flame my fanfic. Don't worry, I blocked him, so he won't be reviewing again.

Also, I fixed a mistake that I made with some html, and stuff...so here you go.


	5. Azelf

Back from my trip to New York City!

_**Azelf's Answering Machine**_

This is Azelf! I'm either out messing with people's minds or in anger management, so leave your name and number after that annoying beep!

**(beep)**

It's Mew. What's up with you, lately? Celebi keeps saying that you're upset.

**(beep)**

Since when were you in anger management?!

**(beep)**

It's Mesprit. Cyrus took my gem again. Mind helping me get it back when you're done anger management?

**(beep)**

It's not my fault I wasn't there, Azelf! You could have just said something, and NOT PIN THE BLAME ON ME! (clunk)

**(beep)**

Sorry, Darkrai, you're just not my type. I'm already dating Gyarados. Oh wait a second...this is Azelf? Well, Darkrai's free, so go ahead and date him.

**(beep)**

It's your father, Arceus! Where's my toaster?!

**(beep)**

IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!

**(beep)**

It's Uxie. Where's our brother?

**(beep)**

It's Munchlax! Did you know that a trash can doesn't make sense, it's just there?

**(beep)**

IT'S PICHU! I JUST HAD CANDY! BWAHAHAHALKHSFKJGBSKJFGJSFJKWGFASKFGKAFGJAGL _(sounds of phone dropping and small feet running around in circles)_

**(beep)**

It's Cresselia. I peeked into Darkrai's diary and he likes you, Azelf!

**(beep)**

It's CeleBaby! I'm rewriting the english language with my dad! From now on, you must say "resemble" when you mean "resent" and "aworrible", "frugalness" and "fruitencakes" are new words!

**(beep)**

THERE ARE NO HOLIDAYS IN NOVEMBER!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! _(sounds of phone being smashed against wall)_

**(beep)**

Sorry about that. It's Rhyperior. CeleBaby says I gotta do anger management as well. What's the number for it?

**(beep)**

It's Celebi! Go look up 'Stick figures on crack' on YouTube. It's hilarious!

**(beep)**

This is the anger management lady. You're done all your courses. Now go out and get that man you want.

**(beep)**

Welcome to Cupid Dot Com!

**(beep)**

It's Darkrai. Um...will you go out with me, Azelf?

END OF MESSAGES!

&&&

Yeah, very random. xD


	6. Pichu

This'll be the final chapter...I'm pretty much out of ideas. x.x

_**Pichu's answering machine**_

This'll be the cutest baby pokemon EVER!! I'm not home at the moment, either stealing cellphones, eating candy or annoying Munchlax. Whichever one I feel like doing. Leave a message, or don't, I don't care.

**(beep)**

What do you mean, annoying me?!?!?! (sounds of sobbing)

**(beep)**

It's Celebi! Events are in Brawl!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

**(beep)**

It's Gardevoir. I just had a good idea for Munchlax. From now on, his new song is "I'm Fat" by Weird Al Yankovic. It goes like this..._"You know I'm FAT! You know it! You know it! You know it! C'mon!"_

**(beep)**

It's Cam. Have you seen my Wii? It's missing, and it doesn't even work right...who the heck would steal a not-working Wii???

**(beep)**

Oi, it's Joe. Don't tell Cam that I got his Wii. He'll be mad as hell.

**(beep)**

Gallade here. I want my DS, you little bugger.

**(beep)**

PICHU, I CHALLANGE YOU TO A KNIFE FIGHT! (sounds of singing) _Knife Fight...you're gonna fight for your li-ife...Knife Fight...you're gonna fight with a kni-ife...Knife Fight...A REALLY REALLY REALLY SHARP KNIFE!! _BWAHAHAHAHA!! (clunk)

**(beep)**

WELCOME TO LAVALIFE DOT COM!!! Are you interested in single losers?

**(beep)**

It's Milotic. Look up Tails Tails Revolution on YouTube. I swear, I peed myself laughing at Running in the 90s.

**(beep)**

Hey, it's Mew. Where the heck are my CDs?

**(beep)**

BRING ME YOUR BRAINS!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

**(beep)**

Hoy, it's Ashley. I know who's the one who keeps calling and singing random songs. It's CeleBaby. I think she's drunk.

**(beep)**

Garchomp here. Do you know the song "I know where you sleep"? It's hilarious!!

**(beep)**

Ash again. I stand corrected; it was Regii who was singing like a drunk.

**(beep)**

IT'S CELEBABY!! I WANT SOME COFFEE!!!!!!!!

**END OF MESSAGES**

_**AND THE END OF THE STORY!!!**_

Thanks for reading, people! I hoped you liked the random stupidity. xD

CeleBaby


End file.
